Heaven Preserve Job hunters From Wanky Recruitment Practices

God be with the days (I don't personally remember them, but I've been told) when all you had to do was lash in the aul cv, have a brief 5 minute interview with some prick in a suit and a couple of days later ya got a call from a bloke saying you either have or have not got the job. Those days are long gone. Nowadays, even the most streamlined of recruitment practices have 2 interviews at least. I can personally understand the reason behind 2 interviews, the first interview is an opportunity for you to get to know the employer, learn a little bit about the company and vice versa, and answer a series of stupid bloody questions. The second interview is completely different, its an opportunity for you to get to know the employer, learn a little bit about the company and vice versa, and answer a series of stupid bloody questions.

So lets say for the sake of agrument that you get passed the initial stage, you do well in the 14 interviews, you score well in your 3 psychometric tests, you manage to complete the assault course, you pass the eye test, the hearing test and you dont have a fucking heart murmer, and you've undergone a 3 day assessment centre, involving group participation excercises, leadership tasks and the devil knows what, lets say you manage to get passed all that unnecessary shite. What next? Well either you get a fone call saying congradulations, you fit the profile of a soulless bollix who has no fucking life and can get a ridiculously high score on our personality test, your clearly a moron of fucking Neil Delemare proportions, you'll fit right in with us shower of cunts. Or, more probably, you get a letter saying fuck off but in the most patronising manner imaginable:

Dear Sir/Madame,


Thank you for your recent application for the role of ........ We regret to inform you that you have been unnsuccessful on this occasion. Thank you for your interest in the post and we wish you all the best in the future.

Yours sincerely,
The recruitment team.

''We wish you all the best in the future?'' Bollix do ya wish me all the best in the future. you couldnt give a shite about my future. Christ it makes my blood turn to piss! The sheer hyprocacy, they've just deemed you unsuitable for the job and their saying best of luck. Fuck off with your best of luck, the last fucker wished me the best of luck and look where that's got me. you really know you've been fucked when some partonising bastard writes best of luck in an email, its like saying ''your a desperate waste of space and we couldnt imagine any company would be stupid enough to employ a twat like you but sure listen ya never know''.

I hope to christ I'm speaking for likeminded people out there who believe that recruitment nowadays is wank. Let's do away with all this mindless time wasting nonsense. I've had my fucking fill of it! Who know's, maybe this will become a forum for discussion.